I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be, and more!

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Can a man change the stars?" "Yes William. If he believes enough, a man can do anything!

It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.

… we don't need more command and control

All my life I have risen regularly at four o'clock and have gone into the woods and talked to God. There He gives me my orders for the day.

People have two sides, a good side and a bad side, a past, a future. We must embrace both in someone we love.

Bugsy Siegel. The mobster with the beautiful blue eyes.

I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.

Griffin, my brother, 11 months younger, was sometimes the victim of my father's fury - once Ryan famously knocked out his teeth.

All things are the same except for the differences, and different except for the similarities.

Silence is only commendable In a neat's tongue dried, and a maid not vendible.