I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Whatever is destroyed, the act of destruction does not vary much. Beauty if vapour from the pit of death.

All fear is but the notion that God's love ends.

Many a marriage hardly differs from prostitution, except being harder to escape from.

Conflicts bring experience and experience brings that growth in Grace which is not to be attained by any other means!

There is no Hell when you die so don't look so worried

The world is richer than it is possible to express in any single language.

This is, I believe, what happens when people take their own lives. They're not killing themselves, they're killing the world. Either to spare it pain or to cause it some, depending.

No new photographs until all the old ones have been used up.

The question is not, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The question is, "Do you want God?"

God doesn't bribe, child. He just makes a sign and lets people take it as they will.