I think the biggest problem is parents are so concerned with being friends with their kids. You're not their friend. You're their parent.

My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.

The older I get, the faster I was.

I don't know anything about Angola, but Angola's in trouble.

I don't care what people think. people are stupid.

We don't need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I've got a technique. It's called just go get the damn ball.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they're still poor.

They run like deer, jump like deer and think like deer.

There's only 5 real jobs in the world. Teacher, fireman, policeman, doctor and somebody who is in the armed service. If you don't have one of those 5 jobs, you shouldn't take your life that serious.

I don't believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.

Never stop loving yourself, for how can you truly love someone if you don't love yourself first. And never be afraid to love, for it is one of the most beautiful uglist things of this world.

If one's conscious life is too rigid, too regimented, then the surface may crack at times, and we are unprepared for the strange emotions or sensations we experience.

An enlightened entertainer, via story, casts her line into the souls of others, hooks their heart, and pulls their greater potential to the surface.

I love to laugh. I love to make people laugh.

What's right for most people in most situations isn't right for everyone in every situation. Real morality lies in following one's own heart.

Don't 'just do it.' First, plan it, then do it.

Anytime I was in Memphis with my dad and at the house, I was happy. That was, like, a given. It was what I lived for. And I still feel the same excitement and warmth.

I am hoping for better times. That's how you know us hapless gardeners - by our dirty fingernails and our absurd, unquenchable optimism about next year.

What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?

It is possible to live for the next life and still be merry in this.