I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

I want to get back to my fighting weight of 98 pounds. I have the exact measurements of that guy from the movie, Powder. Right now, I am the reigning West Coast Powder.

My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

The last thing one discovers in composing a work is what to put first.

Love has the mind of a sage, the heart of a saint, and the soul of an angel.

I can't work in a sewer. I come from California.

Abandon all hopes of utopia - there are people involved.

Sales fixes everything.

I think adoption is a blessing all around when it's done right.

Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.

The Germans, a race eager for war.

Nothing exists without a purpose. Every experience you have in this lifetime was written for you to grow into the light you were meant to become.

Maybe anything that anybody ever has is for now. What happened before is gone, and what will happen later is an illusion.