I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

I cry often. I cry and cleanse my face with my tears and swim to the center of it all. A center that I have written about a thousand times, forever etched into the porcelain.

Sail through the good days, and on bad days pick a spot of blue sky to steer toward.

I see science and mysticism as two complementary manifestations of the human mind

A power that can't be used for good? Like a bad girl power? I wouldn't mind being clairvoyant, but I wouldn't want it if I couldn't use it for good. Peace and love, man. Peace and love.

Unless the habit leads to happiness the best habit is to contract none.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

Any one may do a casual act of good-nature; but a continuation of them shows it a part of the temperament.

Every time I change the way I explain myself to myself, I have to rearrange the story of my life.

One bit in or out of focus makes the difference between our bodies being ourselves and our being part of a group. I want to melt the idea of specificity and blend individuality into the crowd.

O' What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!