I think the job of a comedian is to make people laugh, but also challenge them to laugh at things they didn't know they could until now.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

Famous people are above the law.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer

If we could be humble enough to submit our passions, sentiments and even weaknesses to God Almighty, he would successfully convert them to something positive that would eventually glorify Him.

Wasn’t hitting bottom the thing you had to do to knock some sense into yourself? Wasn’t hitting bottom the thing that showed you which way was up?

Life is complicated. It's a form of joy to have no other choice.

If you wake up today, it's on purpose, it's a gift.

Poverty is a stubborn thing: you seldom escape it with one bound.

The world is a bride of surpassing beauty-but remember that this maiden is never bound to anyone.

Money is usually attracted, not pursued.

I love it when a character requires me to look less than my red-carpet best.

Words can't express what you mean to me.

If we were united and strong, we'd elect our own emir (leader) and give allegiance to him... Take my word, if 6-8 million Muslims unite in America, the country will come to us.