I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

Difficult times are pregnant with glory moments just waiting to be birthed in the lives of those willing to labor through the pain.

He believed interim reforms were necessary in order to fix the worker for his destiny.

Do your duty and a little more and the future will take care of itself.

The scenery is time bound but the seer is timeless. You are the timeless seer in the midst of time bound scenery.

Revolution is man's normal activity, and if he is wise he will grade it slowly so that it may be almost imperceptible - otherwise it will jerk in fits and starts and cause discomfort.

The necessity of labor and conversation with many men and things to the scholar is rarely well remembered.

I've always written songs, even when I wasn't doing anything with my personal life in music.

I earned two Emmy nominations for writing, and two of the shows I had written were nominated for best in their category.

Many a man is given what is intended for another, but no man is given another's fate.

I don't believe a Brexit will hurt the City of London as one of the largest financial centers in the world.