I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

Your profession is not what brings home your weekly paycheck, your profession is what you're put here on earth to do, with such passion and such intensity that it becomes spiritual in calling.

At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed.

Life could be vastly improved if we could count our blessings as self-actualizing people can and do, and if we could retain their constant sense of good fortune and gratitude for it.

I don't act, anyway. The stuff is all injected as we go along. My pictures are made without script or written directions of any kind

There are few people who would not be ashamed of being loved when they love no longer.

Man is about to be deprived of a great pole - work routine. The nightmare of capitalist society is unemployment; the nightmare of cybernetic society will be employment.

The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.

I am always the Baywatch girl at heart. The rock 'n' roll got harder and softer but I wouldn't give up those times for anything.

Someone asked me what three things I would save if my house was on fire. I said my cat, my salamander and one of the twins.

Skill at creating, exploiting, and exiting crucial alliances beats ownership of fixed assets