I think there should be a law - and I know this is extreme - that no one can have a gun in the U.S. If you have a gun, you go to jail. Only the police should have guns.

I don't care if you want to hunt, I don't care if you think it's your right. I say, sorry, you are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison.

Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America...

I just want to say something. 655,000 Iraqi civilians are dead. Who are the terrorists?

The Second Amendment is not really a right.

I act irrationally, I defy the odds, I engage when others would run. I look for trouble, I seek chaos, it is a burden.

Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers.

I'd love to be a dead body in the emergency room and have George Clooney go, 'This one's gone!' while he puts a sheet on me.

I've been on every diet in the world. I've been on Slim-Fast. For breakfast you have a shake. For lunch, you have a shake. For dinner, you kill anyone with food on their plate.

I'm not going to let my life revolve around losing weight. I have other things to do.

I love to be able to support other women comics.

There is nothing that teaches you more than regrouping after failure ad moving on. Yet most people are stricken wth fear. They fear failure so much that they fail.

My soul hurts.

When a person screams in pain, the actual pain is only half the noise they make. The other half is the terror at being forced to accept that they exist.

Her mother was by turns tender and pathetic and terrifying, broken in a way that no one, in that time or place, had any idea how to fix.

Everybody has demons, some more than others

[Students] are exposed to many things the majority of their teachers didn't encounter until much later in their growing up years.

Most people are good at too many things. And when you say someone is focused, more often than not what you actually mean is they're very narrow.

This is serious, if Martha gets the maximum sentence on all counts, she could serve 20 years in prison. Of course, you have to take off time off for good behavior, which means 20 years in prison.

When we are thirsty, we drink the white waters of the pool, the sweetness of our mournful childhood.

The harmony of a concert, to which you listen with delight, must have on certain classes of minute animals the effect of terrible thunder; perhaps it kills them.