I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.

When the nightcomes to break my heart, I think of you.

, “How can one mock these flamingo wine glasses. When, they are so obviously awesome.

When life takes me on a new journey, I simply remember the smile my first ballet recital put on my face and I move forward.

It's quite enough to show a well-beaten dog the whip.

If you are not going to get a thrill, how can you give someone else one? You must feel the beauty of the thing before you start.

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.

There is a trouble called Twitter, the finest lies are here. Nowadays, social media is actually the headache of societies.

Regardless of the cause, none of your problems could happen without God's permission.

I've operated and launched newspapers all over the world.