I think when my mother died, it was such a - you know, a shock to the logic that I had been raised with.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

I live by three simple words: compassion, love and gratitude. We need to act on these three words daily. Doing so will irrevocably change your world.

Thank God I had all these family values or who knows where I'd be now.

Resist your fear fear will never lead to you a positive end. Go for your faith and what you believe.

Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist.

Where success is concerned, people are not measured in inches, or pounds, or college degrees, or family back-ground; they are measured by the size of their thinking.

Avoid prologues: they can be ­annoying, especially a prologue ­following an introduction that comes after a foreword.

True friendship resists time, distance and silence.

I'm tied of hearing about temperance instead of abstinence, in order to please the cocktail crowd in church congregations.

Every day you try to get better.