I think you can tell the human condition better through comedy.

I'm attracted to pathos, because life is mostly pathos. I've had a lot of it in my life.

I started in 1946 in radio. I was ten years old. I was discovered singing in a school play. Someone was in the audience and it's six degrees of separation.

I work with Garry no matter what. What I wanted to keep going was the streak.

I guess I work well with others I handle younger actors well.

I've dodged bullets but there's no scandal in my life.

Which reminds me of a fortune cookie: you often find your destiny on the path you take to avoid it.

The fact that that's the difference between Mexicans and Cubans is pronounced. It's so immediately recognizable, the way a Cuban speaks, the way a Cuban moves the hands.

You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.

I never learned to cook; I was a little spoiled as far as that's concerned.

I don't wonder about anything. I'm too old to wonder. I think the most important thing is to wake-up with a pulse. I look in the obituary columns. If I'm not in it, I get out of bed.

She wore the moonlight like lingerie.

People who see beauty all around them live in a beautiful world. People who see danger all around them live in a dangerous world.

There is a great force in renunciation of power that those who are blinded by the lust for domination cannot understand because those who truly love do not desire power.

If I'm with a man I'm soft and buttery.

The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice.

Private enterprise creates; government destroys. That is the great economic lesson of our times and all times.

To behave rightly, we ourselves should never lay a hand on our servants as long as our anger lasts. Things will seem different to us when we have quieted and cooled down.

Never kiss a girl whose brothers have knife scars.

It's my new single - please buy it so we can get Christmas gifts for the kids this year.

And if you're horrible to me I'm going to write a song about you and you are not going to like it. That's how I operate.