I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

It is one of those stories that you just want to keep going and going - even after the last page has been reached. Kristie Leigh Maguire

Oh, i feel my eyes are swollen. It's like either sobbing all night or someone punch me in the eyes.

I am the longest- serving independent in the history of the United States Congress. People of Vermont sent me to Washington as an independent. That is true.

And then many things became very clear... we learned perfectly that the life of a single human being is worth millions of times more than all the property of the richest man on earth.

Sports are not for everyone.

Vanity is the fear of appearing original: it is thus a lack of pride, but not necessarily a lack of originality.

Today a man of knowledge might well feel as though he were God transformed into an animal.

I made a vow that I would never need another person ever. Turned my heart into a cage, a victim of a kind of rage.

And people do enjoy the plays at completely different levels. And, likewise, they enjoy the authorship question... at completely different levels.

A wish is a desire without energy