I think you should be proud of not being worse than just deeply introverted and socially maladjusted.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I was promising myself strength.I had to write it, say it, make the effort and fake it before I actually believed I could do it.

Successful entrepreneurs don’t have better ideas

Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong and that 99% of them are wrong.

There is a wild, splendid, intoxicating joy that follows work well done.

I must play my role, great or small - that is humility, without self-importance, without self-indulgence.

Our value is the sum of our values.

Pop music has greater power to change people and to affect people because it's a universal language. You don't have to understand music to understand the power of a pop song.

I'm not usually an eavesdropper,but i dare you to try not listening if you hear your best friend talking about you to an adult.

There's No Such Thing as a Bad Meditation. Any Time you Spend in Silence is Valuable

I try to write three jokes every day. I don't sit down and write them, it's just things that pop into my head. Then I'll go watch it fail onstage that night.