I thought I better warn you that I am not one of those politically correct comedians, but it turns out that also I'm not really that racist, homophobic or woman hating either, so you might not notice

My wife could turn to me and she may say, 'Why do you love me?' And I can with all honesty look her in the eye and say, 'Because our pheromones matched our olfactory receptors.'

Homeopaths do not have a physical brain, but merely 'skull water' with the memory of brains.

If the Royal Variety Show was put in a matter transportation machine with the Royal Institution Christmas lectures, this is what you'd get.

My life is constant revision but it's not revision, a lot of it is for the first time.

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

There can be a science to joke writing, there are certainly rules and patterns that can be followed, but I think most of the best comedy goes beyond the rules.

We very quickly forget about the wonderful things we've got. People lose their excitement because there's too much. Basically we're experiencing nothing, because everything is available to us.

I'm glad the universe is pointless. It means if I get to the end of my life, the universe can't turn to me and go, 'What have you been doing, you idiot? That's not the point!

Wherever you are on Earth, there is more life present than in the rest of the known universe.

Science is very cross-generational; you're not just aiming it at twentysomethings, or eightysomethings. Every town's got a really broad selection of people and age groups interested in science.

America is harmless as an enemy but treacherous as a friend.

Love is a disease – ultimately you get sick of each other

Recognize and beware of the snare.

Whirlyball is only the most awesome sport on the planet! It's like bumper cars plus lacrosse meets basketball.

Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves.

Indeed one of the ultimate advantages of an education is simply coming to the end of it.

The beauty industry is always led by innovation. When you think about over the past three or four years, some of the best innovation in our industry has come from Korea.

Evangelism is just one beggar telling another beggar where to find the bread.

Flattery corrupts both the receiver and the giver; and adulation is not of more service to the people than to kings.

He does have that weird mixture of born again Christian and stupid that some people mistake for courage and focus.