I thought I was going to be like Kevin Spacey in college.

I came back to New York after college like any number of struggling performers, and you just find that niche where you can have some sort of impact. And for me that turned out to be comedy.

I can tell when somebody recognizes me, and I try to avoid those people.

I have a medical condition, all right. It's called caring too much, and it's incurable. Also, I have eczema.

For some reasons, I have WWE wrestlers tweeting me all the time. Like, my biggest fans. Why they can connect with my love for Meryl Streep, I don't know.

If you really think you have something good, you can't take no for an answer. You've got to get in there and ignore the people who say no.

My father and I were really like a team. I mean, he was very supportive. He'd come to every single one of my live shows.

I've had a lot of arguments with people, but it's never really gotten physical.

I'm not a big reality show fan, because I just think it's too fake.

Hotmail just picked up 12 new episodes of 'Judging Amy'.

Difficult People? I don't really know. I don't have those metrics.

Move towards your dreams inch by inch or suffer the pain of regret.

Poetry is the mother-tongue of the human race.

We all have idols. Play like anyone you care about but try to be yourself while you're doing so.

Sleep demands of us a guilty immunity.

The passion of vanity has its own depths in the spirit, and is powerfully militant.

You might be a redneck if your dogs name is Miller Light

In doubtful cases the more liberal interpretation must always be preferred.

The great ones don't come cheap.

All the great teachers have left a similar message: Go within, discover your invisible higher self and know God as the love that is within you.

Scientology is a model control system, a state in fact with its own courts, police, rewards and penalties.