I told God I'd be back in a second. Man it's so hard not to act reckless.

Everyone's always telling you to be humble. When was the last time someone told you to be great?

Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it?

Even a broke clock is right twice a day

Life is 5% what happens, and 95% how you react.

This is my life homie, you decide yours

Believe in your flyness...conquer your shyness

Nothing in life is promised except death.

Everything I'm not makes me everything I am

You're not perfect, but you're not your mistakes.

You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end.

People who run away from challenges are cowards and no coward deserves a reward.

I don't think of myself as unbreakable. Perhaps I'm just rather flexible and adaptable.

Faults of the head are punished in this world, those of the heart in another; but as most of our vices are compound, so also is their punishment.

It is better to play than do nothing.

It isn't the big pleasures that count the most; it's making a great deal out of the little ones.

As an entrepreneur, you work out solutions.

Our press is the most disgusting in the world.

I try to impress upon my students the importance of looking, listening... paying attention, in other words. You must pay attention.

Interest is a terrible thing to waste.

Your stage persona is usually a version of yourself, to varying degrees. Some folks do a full-on character, so that's different. But most comics do some version of themselves.