I told Leonard, in the immortal words of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 2, 'I'm going on vacation. If I tell you where I'm going, then it won't be a vacation.'

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

Words let you know what is in someone’s mind, deeds let you know what is in someone’s heart, and character lets you know what is in someone’s soul.

I was on the highway - I saw the scariest thing in the world, man. I saw an Asian driving an SUV. Really, I just drove my car right into the guardrail, figured I'd save him some time.

Have confidence in your ideas before they even exist.

There are a lot of things that come easy, but they're not necessarily worth it. Anything worth having, you work hard for. That's how I feel I am.

I would say my life experience has involved dealing with people very close to me that have died.

When I have it in mind, I write it out.

When freedom is in jeopardy, non-co-operation may be a duty and prison may be a palace.

Mr. Meant-to has a friend, his name is Didn't-Do. Have you met them? They live together in a house called Never-Win. And I am told that it is haunted by the Ghost of Might-have-Been.

The bounds of a man's knowledge are easily concealed, if he has but prudence.

Becoming a walking, dancing, fire-breathing lifestyle dragon is not something you can pursue overnight! It takes years of studying, living, and understanding the modern culture!