I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

The bubble had subsided, leaving only a tiny scar, but the irrational fear of water never quite left her. I never allowed her to forget, not for a moment.

I see humanity now as one vast plant, needing for its highest fulfillment only love, the natural blessings of the great outdoors, and intelligent crossing and selection.

A moment’s encounter can decide the direction of one’s entire life

The universe remains dark. We are animals struck by catastrophe.

I have gotten used to working in the dark and I dig it.

There are things that are not sayable. That’s why we have art.

I'm starting to believe in the power of a name. Because it can't be a mistake if I just call it 'change.'

Every book I write, the media just keeps punching me in the face.

I think that the only thing that can bring us into a place of fullness is being out in the land with other. Then we remember where the source of our power lies.