I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.

Health food shops can make people feel very important; it's like a brand new religion with people trying to convert you to quinoa.

A problem shared is attention gained.

Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.

I knew 'Be Our Guest' would be performed on a set and in costume, but anyone with a history in Theatre In Education will know that can mean anything.

I was a precocious child.

The strangest thing about writing a sitcom, is never knowing if it will become anything but words on a page.

If you had of told me age 10 that in 19 years time I would be on a stage in Salford performing with Les Dennis in a sitcom I had written, I would have believed you.

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

The woman of my dreams. The woman of my nightmares. Everything good and bad about my life. The “I do” that “I didn’t.

Are we not all actors playing parts in another person's play?

Imagine a perfect world

A certain light was beginning to dawn dimly within her, —the light which, showing the way, forbids it.

Sad to say, negative advertising really works.

We should try to understand our innermost needs. We shouldn't use irony to reduce their power.

Some people are as fragile as butterflies and sensitive and it’s your responsibility not to destroy them. Just because you can

In part because they had no choice, right? If you were a slave, you did what the master said. And they said to worship: "You're going to worship with us."

I admire actresses who are good to women. I don't like the ones who just don't like women. You can feel it. They're degrading themselves.