I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Living erotically is opening oneself up to nature-- externally and within.

Aberrant is not abhorrent

The habits of feeling, action and judgment that comprise good character depend on personal self-discipline and powerful aspiration to become a good person, all of which must be drawn from within.

The economics of baseball are the big problem. The big clubs make a lot of money and the little clubs don't.

My Grandmother standing wordless fifteen minutes Between rows of loganberries, clippers poised in her hand.

Personally, coming out was one of the most important things I've ever done, lifting from my shoulders the millstone of lies that I hadn't even realized I was carrying.

Let's put it this way: If a raccoon can carry a movie, then they believe maybe even a woman can.

[...] falling in love with someone beautiful and intelligent and the rest of it, then feeling like a blank twit put you at something of a disadvantage.

I think if I were over there in America, protest music would be more important. But I'm not going.