I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

Live to give and be rich of heart and laughter.

Start small.Start now.Start everything.And don’t bother to finish any of it.

In Gethsemane the holiest of all petitioners prayed three times that a certain cup might pass from Him. It did not.

Live within and without your core of being.

You yourself must know how boring gravity is to oneself and everyone else.

If my ship sails from sight, it doesn't mean my journey ends, it simply means the river bends.

He's my man, he was great

I am proud to do so for I know that by supporting George W. Bush, I serve my country well.

God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.

I think of myself as no more than 60. What I could do at 60, I can still do now.