I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

Hating hurts the hater the most. Hating is not a salve for the wounded soul, it is an abrasive that keeps the soul wounded and raw and oversensitive.

It only takes patience to live through this life.

The misery of the moment.

Death is a part of life, and eventually I assimilated that completely.

There are some teams and logos you see, no matter where you are in the world, and you know exactly who they are and what they mean.

I work hard to show my mother that her child has a purpose.

The activity you're most avoiding contains your biggest opportunity

Memory and forgetfulness are as life and death to one another. To live is to remember and to remember is to live. To die is to forget and to forget is to die.

Everyone loves a good singsong, so we all do a bit of karaoke or something.

The world is ruled by power and power is obtained by money.