I tried to avoid looking at the dress full on, lest it burn out my retinas with its glittering hideousness.

You think I'm deranged! How refreshing. Everyone here takes me so seriously, it's a wonderful change to be thought mentally deficient.

Just because I'm flaunting it doesn't mean you can stare for hours on end. A polite ogle is appreciated and suitable for a flaunt. Slobbering is not.

...my soul bleeding tears of anguish

Maybe I could just James Bond my way down the cable if I draped the scarf over it, clinging to the ends as my body careened down it to safety-- Careened. What an ugly word that was

Dammit, Jim. I'm a Guardian, not a doctor.

Yes, he is a man, so genetically he's engineered to be dense about many things, but he's not stupid.

My heart sobbed a lament that was hard to ignore.

Yeah. I know. How stupid is it to French kiss a vampire and not expect sharp teeth?

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

You took a bath without me?" I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice.

Want to go really fast? Slow down and focus.

Motherhood is the only thing in my life that I've really known for sure is something I wanted to do.

Ask yourself if these Democrats still speak for you. When they say we have a duty to grow government even when we can't afford it, does it sound like compassion to you - or recklessness?

There is a heel that is too high to walk in, certainly. But who cares? You don't have to walk in high heels.

It'll be just lovely for you to play -- it'll be so hard. And there's so much more fun when it is hard!

Whoever has loved once, knows all that life contains of sorrow and of joy.

For every fatal shooting, there are about 3 non-fatal shootings. Folks, this is unacceptable in America.

The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.

Over time, it's becoming more and more understood by people that we're acting in their interests. And that's a very, very powerful thing for our brand.

If you've got kids you know you've only got one prayer: "Let my kids outlive me." That's the bottom of everything.