I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows. You work with what you got.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

What was the freedom to which the adult human being rose in the morning, if each act was held back or inspired by the overpowering ghost of a little child?

We were terrified that Jones would settle. It was contrary to our purpose of bringing down the president.

There is a great relief in experiencing the worst vicariously.

I have assiduously avoided calling my books novels

Even kings but play; and when their part is done, some other, worse or better, mounts the throne.

The most reliable path to glory is base brute effort.

A revolution requires of its leaders a record of unbroken infallibility; if they do not possess it, they are expected to invent it.

A politician taking campaign money from gamblers in Nevada is like one taking campaign money from the auto people in Michigan. Gambling is our legal business.

Far, far below, red liquid bubbled. Blood? Lava? Evil ketchup? None of the posibilities were good.

While thou livest keep a good tongue in thy head.