I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.

But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Everybody has their favorite character.That's the only way I pick, whatever is going on in society, whatever I think folks will laugh at that's what I come up with.

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

He was dressed just like on TV, with lots of silver chains and bracelets, ripped jeans, and a black muscle shirt (Which was kind of stupid, since he didn't have any muscles).

A lie, sometimes, can be truer than the truth, which is why fiction gets written.

Whatever a person wants to sacrifice for God will be multiplied many times over by God will be multiplied many times over by God for that person

It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

You don't have to have a disability to be different.

On set is where I feel comfortable. The red carpet stuff, talking about the film, explaining your own life, it doesn't come naturally. It's all necessary stuff I suppose but it's not my strength.

I think the accusations are about Hillary Clinton taking money from countries that kill women.

Do you believe in what you do? Every day? It turns out that belief happens to be a brilliant strategy.

This is the sorcery of literature. We are healed by our stories.

Innocence dwells with Wisdom, but never with ignorance.