I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

We have to show the world that not all of us are like him. Otherwise, this will always be Hitler's Germany.

A technological revolution on the farm has led to an output explosion--but we have not yet learned to harness that explosion usefully, while protecting our farmers' right to full parity income

Biology has progressed tremendously due to the model that Darwin put forth. But the black boxes Darwin accepted are now being opened, and our view of the world is again being shaken.

I started reading Hunter S. Thompson when I was in college.

I have an idealistic view of science as a liberalising and progressive force for humanity.

I get weary of reading about rebirths because we're all growing all the time and it diminishes the life you've lived if you say 'I'm a new person.

New Orleans is one of the most exciting, incredible communities in the world. There's such a rich culture and history, and there are innumerable things to do.

The wise man seeks death all his life, and for this reason death is not terrifying to him.

Wisdom and eloquence are not always united.