I understand the common man because I understand me in that regard at least.

I have balls the size of grapefruits and come this Sunday, you'll be spitting out the seeds.

You need to surround yourself with quality human beings that are intelligent and have a vision.

You can rise above it. This country gives you opportunity if you want to take it, so don't blame your environment. I look down on people who use their environment as a crutch.

I don't give a damn what the fans think cause, quite frankly, I know what the fans want better than they do.

That crossover of whether it's entertainment or news is the biggest crock of b.s. in television today, because it's all entertainment.

From a person standpoint, the old expression of what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is somewhat true.

I'm not afraid of failing. I don't like to fail. I hate to fail. But I'm not afraid of it.

I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.

If I like you, I'm going to tell you. I'm a hugger, even with men: I'm just very deep.

The chances of you winning are the same as the chances of HELL freezing over.

I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter, " said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.

Young women dream of romance and passion as men dream of conquest because those dreams are necessary goads to leaving home and growing up.

Rise and take your stance once again

My prose is turgid, it just hasn't got any energy

I want to sit down, and I want to laugh. Nothing works better for me than watching somebody slip on a banana peel.

The mind does not take its complexion from the skin.

I'm interested in the gorgeous side of life, but also familiar with the dark side too.

So wary as to disappear for centuries and reappear but never caught, the unicorn has been preserved by an unmatched device wrought like the work of expert blacksmiths.

It's what I always wanted to do, to show the laughter, the fun, the joy of dance.

The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy.