I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Novelists are basically inviting their readers to play a game of pretend. That's what fiction is: a game of pretend.

Mirabelle was always an enigma, and he had the sense that if he pushed her, she’d bolt.

At the end of the day, if I can say I had fun, it was a good day.

You left and I cried tears of blood. My sorrow grows. Its not just that You left. But when You left my eyes went with You. Now, how will I cry?

The way I feel today, as long as my health is good and I can handle myself well and people still come to my concerts, still buy my CDs, I'll keep playing until I feel like I can't.

That's what happens when you love someone... you notice and notice and notice.

Promoting his new book, President Bush visited the headquarters of Facebook. Unfortunately, he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush.

I could see he was having problems taking my punches. I had no problem taking his.

Inquisitiveness is an uncomely guest.

Ecstasy is the accurate term for the intensity of consciousness that occurs in the creative act.