I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Society is going to judge you no matter what you do.

My parents lived very long lives. And good lives, too. They're great people, but good lives.

Donald Trump has said that his 15 percent rate would apply to all businesses. And if that's the case, billionaire real estate magnets will get a very big tax cut.

We overstate the ills of life, and take Imagination... down our earth to rake.

If you remove enjoyment of God from faith in God, it ceases to be faith.

The best substitute for money is ingenuity.

The personal is political, but only to a point.

If it's a good day, I get 'The New York Times' on my iPad, and if I have a little time in the morning, I like to look at that while I'm eating.

The skilled players can be skilled players and they're not impeded.

Art is not a copy of the real world; one of the damn things is enough.