I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You are special child.

Once we are lost unto ourselves, everything else is lost to us.

Where two or more are gathered in the name of Man

Following a trend is useful, until you start alienating the original. The last thing we want is to live in a world where everything is the same. Originality and individuality is key.

You are responsible for how your life turns out, and your attitude shapes that life for better or worse.

Portrait The world spreads out on either side no farther than the heart is wide.

I just think that pick-up lines in general are horrible. None of them work.

There is no other reality than nature.

I don't really think anything Microsoft does puts pressure on Apple.

Power without principle is barren, but principle without power is futile. This is a party of government, and I will lead it as a party of government.