I used to be sceptic, but not anymore, because now I am positive that I'm getting screwed.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation.

In Northern Ireland, helicopters are not usually used to promote poetry.

When we read dystopia, we root for these people to break free because we are these people; hoping and fighting against things that are bigger than ourselves.

If women’s role in life is limited solely to housewife/mother, it clearly ends when she can no longer bear more children and the children she has borne leave home.

What you’re believing in the moment creates your suffering or your happiness.

Time brought resignation and a melancholy sweeter than common joy.

What is your religion? I mean-not what you know about religion but the belief that helps you most?

Idealism is frequently another word for self-righteousness, a disease that can only be corrected by a profound understanding power in its complete sense.

Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.

I really got into the cricket and staying up late watching the World Cup.