I used to first go on to entertain an audience. But now I go, and this is really true - I go on to have fun with a crowd of my chums.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

a wish... that we may, each of us, with utter regularity, melt into the truth of our inescapable beauty.

There is a way of reacting to insult that gives people the impression that you want more. I don't know what it is, but I seem to have mastered it.

A man is not known by what he wears but only when the society undresses him.

Advances have fallen, generally, for everything except the biggest potential bestsellers. Given all the changes, both economic and technological, SF hasn't done too badly.

Well,I hope you like the ring." He held it out to me, he velvet lid still closed. "My mom hates it." "I'm sure I'll love it,then," I said, and he laughed.

Most of the media... is positioning the merger with Compaq and the recent actions by Walter Hewlett and David Packard as a fight between the past and the future.

I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can't love me

We are all victims of war, and we all count.

Georgie Porgie, he might buy the whole league, but he doesn't have enough money to buy fear to put in my heart.