I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out of the bottle.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's.

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records.

One of the reasons ordinary people are incapable of magic is simple dearth of conviction.

Thriving economies on both sides of the border is a win-win for Arizona and Mexico, but that will only come by working together and demonstrating mutual respect.

opening the book, i inhaled. the smell of old books, so sharp, so dry you can taste it.

The second host that I had was an actress I didn't know named Susan St. James.

I live by the motto, 'To whom much is given, much is required.' I know that people are counting on me. That's why I have to keep working hard.

I want to be a part of the grand plan. Being on board with God's objectives means I understand that this is not about me.

What good is it that Christ was born [2,000] years ago if he is not born now in your heart?

The young have to kill the old. The young, if they want to achieve their own platform, have to diminish the reputations of the ones that have gone before. That's how life works.

Give me a chance to create a fever and I will cure any disease.

Wherever you go, there are three icons that everyone knows: Jesus Christ, Pele and Coca-Cola.