I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Be the best you.

With imagination and personal creativity, people who sew can design the way they look to suit themselves.

You will find that hate can unify people more quickly and more fervently than devotion ever could.

History is nothing except monsters or victims. Or witnesses.

I'm sorry if this all seems a little rushed and desperate. It is.

I shall not mingle conjectures with certainties.

Cookery means…English thoroughness, French art, and Arabian hospitality; it means the knowledge of all fruits and herbs and balms and spices; it means carefulness, inventiveness, and watchfulness.

The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

The human psyche has two great sicknesses: the urge to carry vendetta across generations, and the tendency to fasten group labels on people rather than see them as individuals.

I have found men to be more kind than I expected, and less just.