I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy.

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead.

I love eating in it, brushing my teeth and swallowing the toothpaste in it. I love punching the ceiling with my fists when I'm lost or I can't find a parking space.

I really detest movies like 'Indecent Proposal' and 'Pretty Woman' because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal and really that's such a small part of it.

Anything can happen with a razor.

Women can really be who they are. I'm about to say the F word, feminist. Often that word has such a negative connotation.

I always feel like rejection is my petrol. That's what keeps me going.

I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

Always keep your anger bottled up. You might need a bottle of anger some day when friends come by and won't leave.

I have to find work wherever it might be hiding.

The days are too short even for love how can there be enough time for quarreling?

You can't have a sustainable US economy without a great education system. Teach students to do the job right. You don't have an innovative economy unless you have a great education.

The wheels of justice - they're square wheels.

... my daughter McKenna thought I sang with the Everly Brothers ... I said, 'no I was one of the Righteous Brothers' and she said 'didn't they invent the airplane?'

I'm trying to think if there was ever the Lenny Bruce-y, observational, George Carlin kind of magician: "You know what I hate is ..." I don't think that ever existed.

Try your hand at everything. Figure out what your space in the world is and take it. Then you can let other people in who will celebrate that about you, not try to turn you into something else.

Which is why I felt I was truly blessed this year, with leads in two nice films, and also the luxury of being able to do a studio film and an independent afterwards was fantastic.

Fidel Castro takes up so much space in the Cuban mind. It's hard for us to imagine as Americans - isn't it? - how much of everyday conversation he's dominated for 50 years.

You can make it if you try, push a little harder, think a little deeper.

Impotent fury rages powerless and to no purpose.