I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

Merry hearts are vulnerable to death, don't be over-joyed to the state of oblivion, lest the enemy poison your meal.

We are not conscious of most things until we ask ourselves questions about them.

nobody ever dies of an indignity.

No horse named Morbid ever won a race.

In both pop and disco, the meaning of the lyrics is not too important. I have nothing I feel I particularly want to say.

I was a full foot taller than any child my age.

There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.

When I lived in Japan in the 1980s, I once was mistaken for Paul Newman, and I didn't have much more hair than I do now. My first reaction was that staying in Japan might be good for my social life.

The future is not a gift: it is an achievement. Every generation helps make its own future. This is the essential challenge of the present

It would be disastrous if bad planning policy meant that today's new developments become tomorrow's climate slums