I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Neither can you explain yourself to me. Nor can I explain myself to you. You have your sadness and I have mine.

The young feel tired at the end of an action The old at the beginning.

Think BIG. There are unseen forces ready to support your dreams.

It is well known that the central problem of the whole of modern mathematics is the study of transcendental functions defined by differential equations.

I believe in miracles . . . prayers that are answered and healing hands.

I tried to think about other things. I tried to invent optimistic inventions. But the pessimistic ones were extremely loud.

The truth will come out in the end.

I am not yet born; O fill me with strength against those who would freeze my humanity.

He's a jokester, and that's funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny.

Sell stupid somewhere else--there's nothing better than that face!