I've already become a mastodon in print - I don't see a consciousness for my kind of journalism.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

Not often do you approach a character where people know more about him than you do.

Haters are my favorite. I´ve built an empire with the bricks they´ve thrown at me. Keep on hating.

I think I enjoy playing human beings no matter the substance of their character.

From labor there shall come forth rest.

Whether you get hurt by weapons or feelings, it hurts when you get shot in the heart.

Raising kids is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

Sustainability has become an ornament.

Ignorance has its virtues; without it there'd be mighty little conversation.

Ignorant men do not know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away.

There is no being capable of a spiritual life who does not have within him a jungle. Where the wolf constantly HOWLS and the OBSCENE bird of night chatters endlessly.