I've always been very opinionated, for lack of a better term, about art. Not to sound too arrogant, but I guess I'm a connoisseur of telling people what I think is good and bad.

If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.

In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after school. Isn't that great?

I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.

People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.

I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.

I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.

I knew I wanted to be an actor. I just kept saying, "Until somebody tells me to stop, until I have to go get a real job, and until I'm practically homeless, I'm not gonna get one."

Want to dance? We have music this time. And I don't have to punch you when we finish.

It takes a great reader to make a great book.

As a man begins to understand the sacrifices he must make to live the life he dreams of, he often loses his courage for such a life.

For a child, it is in the simplicity of play that the complexity of life is sorted like puzzle pieces joined together to make sense of the world.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

But if the feelings are mutual, I open my heart without restriction. I’m not afraid to say 'I love you'.

How do I stay humble? Because I'm the best at being humble.

When a real genius appeares in this world, you'll know him by the fact that all the fools have allied against him.

There are only two words with four letters which can make us fly: Wing and Love.

Don't give up, cause despair sucks