I've always benefited from knowing machines well, because it's freedom, it gives you freedom, I always knew that.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

You often meet your fate on the road you take to avoid it.

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life.

Blame is the coward’s retreat.They think it frees them, but it confines them… Blame is also the coward’s warden.

Every child had a pretty good shot, to get at least as far as their old man got. But something happened on the way to that place. They threw an American flag in our face.

With compassion, we see benevolently our own human condition and the condition of our fellow beings. We drop prejudice. We withhold judgment.

We have to stop our jobs from being stolen from us.

Diplomacy means the art of nearly deceiving all your friends, but not quite deceiving all your enemies.

In order to eliminate the negative influences, simply ignore them.

George [Clooney] and I do have the aim one day to be in a film where we say one nice thing to each other. Hopefully one day.

Japanese would never 'restore' an antique. The signs of age and wear are to them its most beautiful qualities.