I've always felt that a really good joke, a really good one-liner, is a really good line of poetry. It's imagistic, it's compact, there is a rhythm to it.

A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.

Moms Mabley said you have to say good things about the dead. I say, 'He's dead. Good.'

I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.

When women go off together we call it separatism. When men go off together we call it Congress.

I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.

The Administration's policy on women is often hard to see because it is written in the font size of pharmaceutical ads.

Whenever a woman describes herself as a 'post-feminist' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist.

Teaching is performance art.

[On cloning sheep:] Oh great, just what we need - more sheep.

My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things.

A wise bird does not lend even the smallest of its feathers to a hunter.

Trust your landmark and run through the smoke. It's going to open up eventually.

The great can protect themselves, but the poor and humble require the arm and shield of the law.

I've made so many mistakes, so many corrections. I'm so far from perfect so many imperfections. But I'm a go getta I get up and go get it, so if you preaching prosperity, i wanna hit it.

The man who foolishly does me wrong, I will return to him the protection of my most ungrudging love; and the more evil comes from him, the more good shall go from me.

Knowing what I do now, I don't know if I'd ever have the balls to go to film school, with no connections and no knowledge of the business side at all.

I had the desire to paint the figure without actually painting the figure.

I rely heavily on rhythm when I write. You should tap your foot when you read it, all the way through.

Coaching to me is correcting mistakes and trying to get your players to think. If raising your voice occasionally gets them to think better, then that's called coaching.

After seventy years of expository preaching, I have yet to touch the hem of His garment.