I've always had a sense of humour, and I still do, so I just want to go on performing as long as I can. It's as simple as that.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else.

I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world.

Virtue is necessary to a republic.

No city embraced privatization more eagerly than Chicago, where I live.

Never give up on anyone. And that includes not giving up on yourself.

I knew unless I got stopped I was going to go all the way. I don't know if I can run any faster. I just ran as fast as I could.

You refuse to listen. Because, like every other man, you can keep only one idea in your head at a time-usully the wrong one.

I try to make everyone around me feel comfortable.

It's an odd thing, but anyone who disappears is said to be seen in San Francisco. It must be a delightful city and possess all the attractions of the next world

A friend had commented once that Neal had a gift for making someone want to punch him just for saying hello.