I've always liked older men. They're just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren't that many left!

People forget the good that zoos do. If it weren't for zoos, we would have so many species that would be extinct today.

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

I'm a teenager trapped in an old body.

I may be a senior, but so what? I'm still hot.

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

If one has no sense of humor, one is in trouble.

Get at least 8 hours of beauty sleep. 9 if you're ugly.

We didn’t have Facebook in my day, we had a phone book but you wouldn’t waste an afternoon on it

I don't know how people get so anti-something. Just mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don't worry about other people so much.

It's so Hogwarts.

All writers are to some extent inventors, describing people as they would like to see them in life.

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live. It is asking other people to live as one wishes to live.

John Kerry told Tom Ridge he was too busy to receive a Homeland Security briefing. I thought that was odd, since you're not supposed to ignore terrorist threats until after you become president.

Even the notion that, you know,[Bill] Clinton was the black president strikes me as the greatest irony of all times.

It's always wrong to hate, but it's never wrong to love.

habit is our idea of eternity.

I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.

The threat of taking something away makes us appreciate it more.

Pleasantry is never good on serious points, because it always regards subjects in that point of view in which it is not the purpose to consider them.