I've always liked to think I could do anything I wished as well as - if not better than - a man. But I wasn't very good at rally driving.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

When people wish for harmony, I wish for chaos. I'd rather see imaginative means of self-destruction, than to see laziness and wasted potential.

Being with her can prove difficult, but life without her would be unbearable.

Leaders do what ought to be done whether their deeds are known by thousands or known by no one.

I do not have results ... I have an impossible task !!

You can't kill rock and roll without a silver bullet because she's a werewolf.

My own experience is that once a story has been written, one has to cross out the beginning and the end. It is there that we authors do most of our lying.

The vampire is not a bad man, and he loves you

The human element of making music is what's most important.

The danger from lightning is gone when the thunder is heard, and the worst is over when misfortune has arrived.

Back in the Rat Pack days, we'd take Frank's plane and sit dead center, because of Nancy. We'd watch the Rat Pack in the center ring and you couldn't ask for a better thing.