I've always thought having a kid that played soccer would be the worst punishment. After watching 3 min of water polo I stand corrected.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Accept yourself: flaws, quirks, talents, secret thoughts, all of it, and experience true liberation.

Reading is a source of liberation. Children who are taught to read early on, are commonly taught to communicate in other significant verbal and nonverbal ways.

You have a choice to make when you're not playing. Either you're invested and a great teammate, or your not

A leveller has long ago been set down as a ridiculous and chimerical being, who, if he could finish his work to-day, would have to begin it again tomorrow.

The majority of photographers focus on the obvious. They believe and accept what their eyes tell them, and yet eyes know nothing.

The vast majority of the students I have taught have become self-sufficient and confident individuals who enjoy their lives.

Obstacles may retard, but they cannot long prevent the progress of a movement sanctified by its justice, and sustained by a virtuous people .

We estimate that by 2010 China will have added another 250 million subscribers, strengthening its position as the single largest mobile market in the world.

Success isn't determined by how many times you win, but by how you play the week after you lose.

The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish Cut with her golden oars the silver stream And greedily devour the treacherous bait.