I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

Hate is a powerful emotion. It can take over a sane man's mind and cloud it with insanity.

I like to be as positive and as peaceful as possible, but reality says, you know, sometimes you get mad, sometimes you get antsy, sometimes you get aggravated.

Women tell time by the body. They are like clocks. They are always fastened to the earth, listening for its small animal noises.

My parents were my heroes and my role models. So I thought long and hard over decisions that I would make because I never wanted to disappoint them and break their hearts.

American Splendor is just an ongoing journal. It's an ongoing autobiography. I started it when I was in my early 30s, and I just keep going.

Small minds cannot grasp great ideas; to their narrow comprehension, their purblind vision, nothing seems really great and important but themselves.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

After waiting four long years since the Lost CHIC Tapes were recovered, I'm finally putting out our first record. I'm like a child waiting for Christmas morning.

Even in this world where you’re getting everything you need and having this nice life, there’s still loneliness and longing and disconnection.

When I was a child, kids used to make fun of me because I was blind. But I just became more curious, 'How can I climb this tree and get an apple for this girl?' That's what mattered to me.