I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Breathe deeply and remember to love.

A Sufi is alive to the value of time, and is given, every moment, to what that moment demands.

It's true not because it's beyond doubt, but because we believe it to be true. We make it true. We are safe as long as no one can disprove us

God doesn't demand from you what He hasn't committed to your hands...yes

The earth is yet the place of the domicile of man and all the offspring of the first man.

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.

The epitaph that I would write for history would say: I conceal nothing. It is not enough not to lie. One should strive not to lie in a negative sense by remaining silent.

It has always amazed and humbled me to how the risk to bloom can seem so insurmountable beforehand and so inevitably freeing once the threshold of suffering is crossed.

I'll never, ever think of myself as famous, even if I ever get to the point of George Clooney... because I Think you might go crazy if you start reffering to yourself in those terms.