I've an idea for doing a Situation Comedy myself but its always difficult to get people to listen to you because they like to put their own ideas forward.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

I owe everything to the army.

You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to take it out for a drag.

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

All my boyhood, all I ever wanted was to be loved.

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

It is always a joyful spring when your heart can dance and your soul can sing.

A man who has lived in many places is not likely to be deceived by the local errors of his native village

Know this about yourself: there is only one reason professional salespeople lose orders-- they are outsold.

Wealth without virtue is no harmless neighbor.

Connor is my friend... I've hacked. Which one came first?

To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.

I miss Bettie Page. I've been missing her since the last time I photographed her in 1954.

To my mind, the actor has this great responsability of playing another human being… it’s like taking on another person’s life and you have to do it as sincerely and honestly as you can.

Relationships are a battle. They are a chess game. And what did I do? I just threw all my chess pieces down on the board at once, and said, "Here! Have them all!

I'm really happy I was kicked out of CalArts (for a controversial art piece I made).