I've been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I've never really been a CEO.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone... you answer it.

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P!

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures. You're gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t

I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

she was completely wholeand yet never fully complete

Some people just carry heavy hearts and more often than not it has nothing to do with you.

Chance favours the bold.

On of the prerequisites for my mobile phone is that I have to be able to fling it at a wall if I lose my temper.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Wilderness is the raw material out of which man has hammered the artifact called civilization.

It's important to have a voice; it's more important to use it.

In high school, I loved history. I also loved cosmography, algebra. Mexico is so rich in culture and history, and I have always enjoyed that.

I did want to be the top sniper.

The bee enclosed and through the amber shown Seems buried in the juice which was his own.